I am feeling a little low at the moment, whether it is the latest diagnosis, the worry about the op on Friday or my lovely dad's birthday? I feel like I want to cry and not stop.
What ever it is, I want this feeling to lift. Every time I have a cough, pain or twinge my mind works overtime, is this the beginning of the end?
It has been a sad time over the past year with many wonderful friends not here with their families, the latest being Debbie. Sometimes I wonder why I am still here.
I want to be here so much for my family, my children need me and I love them so much and don't want to leave them.
I am looking forward to seeing the Prof in January. He is a wonderful man who has given me the greatest gift anyone could give to another.
I will support him all the way with getting the treatment in the UK.
Not sure what will happen after this treatment as I will need it funded.
If it isn't, I don't know what I will do. That is something I will think about if my funding is refused again.
The PCT have to see that the treatment has benefitted me.
I am going to get this TOF op out of the way and then concentrate on Christmas with my children.
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